Facing My Fears: A Journey to the Ocular Oncologist
I’ve always prided myself on being strong in the face of adversity, but nothing could have prepared me for the overwhelming fear I felt when I was told I needed to see an ocular oncologist. The word “oncologist” alone was enough to send chills down my spine, and the thought of potentially having cancer in my eye was terrifying. The night leading up to my appointment was filled with a whirlwind of emotions—fear, anxiety, and the constant battle to stay hopeful.
The Fear of the Unknown
As I sat in the waiting room, my mind ran wild with “what-ifs.”What if it’s cancer? What if I’m not as strong as I think I am? It felt like I was walking on a tightrope, balancing between hope and despair. The unknown was paralyzing. But amidst all the fear, I wasn’t alone. I was surrounded, supported, and lifted by the incredible people in my life.
The Power of Community
Through this experience, I’ve been reminded just how powerful it is to have a strong support system. My family, friends, co-workers, and church family rallied around me in ways that I will never forget. My family and friend’s words of encouragement calmed my fears. My co-workers were understanding and kind, giving me the space I needed while also keeping me grounded with their light-hearted humor and thoughtful messages. My church family’s prayers reminded me that I am always surrounded by God’s love, no matter the outcome.
The Day of the Appointment
Walking into the ocular oncologist’s office, I felt a mix of dread and relief. Dread for what I might hear and relief that the waiting was finally over. After what felt like an eternity, the doctor came in with my results. I held my breath as she explained that the abnormalities they saw were not cancerous. I was overwhelmed with relief, gratitude, and an unexpected rush of tears. The good news felt like a second chance at life, a reminder of how precious my health truly is.
My Greatest Takeaways
Cherish Every Moment: In those moments of waiting and worrying, I realized just how much I’ve taken for granted. I’ve made a promise to myself to be more present, more grateful, and to cherish the everyday moments that make life beautiful.
Lean on Your Support System: I’ve always been fiercely independent, but this experience taught me that it’s okay to lean on others. The love and support I received reminded me that we’re not meant to go through life alone. Sometimes, the strength we need comes from those around us, and that’s perfectly okay.
Faith Over Fear: My faith was a constant anchor throughout this journey. There were moments when my fear seemed overwhelming, but leaning into my faith helped me find peace. It’s not about having all the answers or never being afraid; it’s about trusting that you are held, even in the scariest moments.
Health Is a Gift: It’s easy to take our health for granted, but this experience was a wake-up call. I’m more committed than ever to taking care of myself, both physically and mentally, and to appreciating the gift of good health every single day.
Moving Forward with Gratitude
While the fear I felt during this experience was intense, it also brought me closer to the people I love, strengthened my faith, and gave me a renewed appreciation for my life. I am deeply grateful that I do not have ocular cancer, but even more so, I am grateful for the incredible community that surrounds me. This experience was a reminder that life is precious, and I am determined to live it with gratitude, courage, and a deeper connection to the people and moments that truly matter. Thank you to everyone who supported me, prayed for me, and walked with me through this. Your love was a light in a very dark time, and for that, I will be forever thankful.
With love and gratitude,
Tenecia Nicole
